|Those immortal words by Chef|
in his toast to me. :)
I wanted to just share something about that wonderful evening and tie it in with what my dad told me. I feel like I've been on such a high since both these things happened because it's done wonders for my self-confidence and enthusiasm for my future. So I'm going to try and keep riding that feeling for a while, so please allow me that little self-indulgence! LOL
I know my post yesterday had a really different tone to it, but in a way it's all part of the whole picture. See, in yesterday's post I told you about my dad saying some extremely validating words to me -- words that mean a lot to me. "Proud of you." He's never said that to me before. Ever. No matter what happens from this point on, I hope I never forget those words.
And then at Chef's dinner party, I was included in his toast before dinner: "...and to Bradley, an up and coming chef to watch." This Chef is pretty well known in culinary circles, so these words coming from him hold a lot of weight. And they meant a lot to me. Maybe in a different way from my dad's words, but they still meant a lot to me.
So I was talking to Matty about what Chef said and what my dad said and sort of waited for his brain to play with those two phrases. I just knew somehow that's exactly what he was going to do. He had "that look" on his face when he goes into "brain play." And I LOVE to watch his brain at play. He's got this really interesting and creative and playful brain that once it's in motion about something important to me, is exciting to watch.
I was telling him I didn't think I would ever forget what both my dad and Chef said to me. I told him both of those short phrases were etched in my brain forever. So I knew Matty was about to let his brain out to play because he had this sort of twinkle in his eyes, a very slight grin on his face, and he said to me, "Say both those phrases again -- kind of softly." And then he closed his eyes (don't you just love this?!! THIS is what always happens when he lets his brain out to play), and I repeated both of them again.
He leaned back on the sofa, kept his eyes shut and said, "Say them again. Slowly." So I did. And watched him. And waited. (Now I was smiling. I LOVE watching this process at work. He looks really deep in thought like an artist composing a painting, or a composer orchestrating a song, or an author visualizing a scene.)
Then he said, "They don't even know each other and yet they both see something incredibly important in you. Chef sees an 'up and coming chef to watch,' and your dad is so 'proud of you' for following your dream to be a chef. Maybe Chef got a toast from his mentor when he was your age and he's passing it on to you. Maybe your dad never got 'Proud of you' from his dad, so he knows what it's like not to get that, so he's learned something and he's giving it to you."
Matty said all that while he was leaning back on the sofa with his eyes closed. When he opened them and saw me staring at him with some tears going down my face, he leaned over and pulled me into a really tight hug and just let me cry. He didn't say one single word but just rubbed my back with one hand, and ran his hands through my hair with the other.
I had thought the toast I got from Chef at the dinner party was my evening in heaven. And I had thought hearing my dad say, Proud of you" was my evening in heaven. And those two things were heaven for me.
But the other night when Matty pulled it all together and held me tight -- that was my third Evening in Heaven. I'm going to remember all three, but the one from My Matty had a specialness about it I will treasure forever. I know we're in this together.
Regardless what happens with my culinary career... regardless of what happens between me and my dad... I have My Matty all the way.