Sunday, February 16, 2014

Sundays with Sam: Sam in love!

Hello all my friends out there! Yep, since it's Sunday it must be Sam-I-Am once again.

Wait, let me correct that to make it more accurate. This is Sam-I-Am-In-Love.

Boy, I think I typed that last sentence a little bit too fast, so in case you did not catch it, let me slow it down and try one more time.

Okay. Here goes. Are you ready?
Rick, my BOYFRIEND, and I had a really good talk about this and I feel there is no doubt in my mind that this last statement is the truth.

I LOVED all the comments you left that world-famous Professor a couple of weeks ago when he gave that lecture on What is Love? Remember? Professor Sam-I-Am from the University of Dr. Seuss! Well, he sat down with me and Rick and went over all the great things every one said. And it really helped us a lot, so THANK YOU!

And then guess what happened? Well, I have been talking to Brad about how you know you're in love, and then I talked to Matty about it, too. I'm not sure why I wanted to talk to them individually, but that's what I did and they both helped me out a lot.

But wait! There's even more to this great story!! Guess who called Brad and Matty and asked if he could come over to their house to talk to them (without me)? Yes! Rick, my BOYFRIEND. I didn't know he had called them! He told me about it when we had our Talk about being in love.

So here is how that went down. (Right now I am so nervous typing all this because it is SO SWEET!)

So, Rick told me he went over to talk to Brad and Matty because -- get this -- he wanted to tell them he was sure he loved me and, well, wanted to know they had any concerns. When I asked Rick what that meant, he said, "I just wanted to get their opinion on whether they thought I was good enough for you." I could not believe he asked them that! When he told me that, I did what Sam-I-Am always does when some body actually believes I am worth some thing -- I started crying, like a baby.

Rick then told me he talked to them because he knows it would be impossible to talk to my own parents about this and he felt Brad and Matty are not only extremely close friends to me, but are my Protectors, just like Parents are suppose to be. So he said that was close enough for him, and he wanted to do this right!



CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW INCREDIBLE THAT IT? 

AND SWEET? 

AND KIND OF OLD FASHIONED?



So, how do I know I am in love with Rick? Well, it's kind of hard to explain, but do you see that heart picture I put up there? It looks like it's a heart that's been stitched together. And without sounding like I'm feeling sorry for my self, I feel like my heart has been split into so many pieces and Rick has helped me stitch it back together. I know that might sound kind of sappy, but to me it makes a whole lot of sense.

Rick has always treated me like I matter, and not like he is just going through the motions of simply being nice to me. He said he can't stop thinking about me and feels sad when he is not with me. When I finally told him all the major details of my life and every thing I have been through, he never even once looked like he felt sorry for me or like I was pathetic or had too much baggage or was damaged goods.

He thinks I am a lot stronger than I realize and he admires my strength -- when he told me that, I started crying again because I guess I have let him see more of me than I realized. And he said he "treasures" me!

So I also told him exactly how I felt about him which made me cry some more. And when I apologized for crying so much, he got teary and said for me to never, never, never be ashamed of my feelings. I can't remember his exact words, but it was some thing like this: "Baby, when you cry, I get to see what you feel inside. That means you trust me with your tender side as well as your strong side. I am in love with it all." 

Well, I had to take a break from typing after that last paragraph because I got so emotional. I just feel so loved and cared for that I can not even find all the words to describe it.

Well, I guess that is my big news for this week. But I just want to say one more thing about all of you who take the time each week to leave me the comments you do. YOU have all played a HUGE part in helping me grow so I could be ready for this next part of my life. You may think I am just saying that to be nice, but if you could look into my heart, you would see that I do not make up stuff like this.
So please do not doubt me when I say Thank You for being here for me. I wish I could reach out and give each one of you a bear hug because you deserve one. My counseling program is a major support for me. Brad and Matty are a major support for me. Rick (my BOYFRIEND WHO LOVES ME) is a major support for me. And YOU are a major support for me.

I think I am going to make it now. 

Love, from Sam-I-Am-In-Love.
~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~

42 comments:

  1. Aw!! So sweet! Love that he's being old-fashioned about it. So romantic! It's beautiful watching you two fall in love.

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  2. Congrats Samn to you and Rick. I wish you many many years of love and understanding to each other.

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  3. I dont post much...Im kind of a lurker here (cause I suck at words)..well, except on Facebook where I harass Matty but I just wanted to say it has been such a pleasure watching you grow. I am SO happy for you finding your way to Rick and your happiness. Go you!

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  4. Oh, Sam, I am so very, very happy for you! You deserve someone who sees you for the amazing person you are and loves you and supports you so can see it too. I am so glad that you have that in Rick (your BOYFRIEND), who seems incredibly sweet and obviously loves you very much <3 I'm honoured that I am part of your support team *hugs* right back at you!

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  5. Oh Sam, this post got me teary-eyed (in a happy way)! Showing your beloved ALL your emotions and having those feelings validated and appreciated is wonderful and (in my view) fundamental in a relationship, and you & Rick are doing just that!

    I love how Matty and Brad have become not only your friends and mentors but also Rick's. Having a good team in your corner is important for so many reasons.

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  6. Oh darling Sam! I got a little chocked up myself. That was beautiful and I'm so happy to hear that your heart is feeling whole. And Rick really is just so damn sweet. I'm happy you have him and that you are in love!

    And I know I don't just speak for myself when I say that we are all glad you've found posting here a positive experience. Thank you for sharing yourself with us. We are happy to help in any way we can.

    Congrats Sam! And great big hugs!

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  7. WOW Sam-I-am-in-Love!!
    I can not even begin to describe how EXTREMELY HAPPY it made me feel to read this. I'm feeling all mushy and gooey inside :)

    First, congratulations on being in love, wonderful isn't it?
    Second, you realize in one post you managed to say that you felt loved, treasured, protected and put back together!
    Wow, just wow Sam, that is incredible.
    I truly can not think of anyone more deserving than you. From your first post to todays, I'm awestruck at the change, and blown away by your strenght and courage. I'm so proud of you and so grateful that you share all of this with us, thank you!

    I LOVE that Rick, your BOYFRIEND, went to Matt and Brad to get the stamp of approval. I think that's amazingly sweet, thoughtful and repectful.
    I'm so gald everything is falling into place in your relationship and you and Rick are in such a wonderful place. He really does sound like he treasures you, as you deserve.
    The biggest, squishiest, tightest hug for you, (don't mind if I shed a tear or two of happiness on your shoulder) Sweet Sam-I-am-in-love.
    Have a fantastic week :)

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  8. You are very strong. Thanks for sharing. I'm so happy for you. I'm glad you found Rick.

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  9. Often when people say "You deserve each other" they don't mean that in a nice way at all. But, Sam, let me just say, in the NICEST possible sense--you and Rick are deserving of one another's love and I am so very happy for you both. You are growing in so many wonderful ways. Falling in love and being able to recognise it and accept that it is reciprocated--that is yet another lovely step in your personal growth.

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  10. Hi Sam-I-Am in Love,

    What a beautful, inspiring post.

    I, Dr. Andy, Professor Emeritus at Dr. Seuss Universty and resident expert on all things love, hereby declares Rick and Sam to be hopelessly in love! Not just any kind of love, but the kind of love that will survive, not only an occasional muble or grumble, but any of the other unpleasant sounds that all humans emit over the course of time. Yes, for better or for worse, you are now officially Hooked on Each Other and not just for the present, but for a very long time to come!

    Regards,

    Dr. Andy

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  11. Sam, this makes me so happy! To think when you first started your guest posts on here it was because you were struggling with being gay and needed an outlet. You've grown so much since that time! Since then you've met someone, made your relationship grow, and now your in love!! And MOST importantly, especially for you to remind yourself, Rick is in love with YOU too :) I think that's important because of your self doubts, I really hope having Rick come into your life and both of you becoming a couple has shown you how very special you are! He fell in love with YOU SAM! It's such an amazing thing when two people fall in love. And I feel honored it has happened in front of my "eyes"! Happy Valentines Day <3

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  12. Your heart is so sweet and pure and open and it looks like you have found someone who recognizes that. He loves you for it!! Good job, Sam!

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  13. You've got me all choked up too. All I can say is you make my heart smile.

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  14. Happy to hear things are so good for yourself and Rick, Sam-I-Am, Long may it continue!

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  15. Aaaaahhhhhh!!!!! I want to squeeeeeeze you in the biggest hug!!! Sam, you are just so sweet, and genuine, and LOVEABLE. <3 I'm so glad you have found someone who is worthy of your heart, and who you trust to take your journey with you. You and your BOYFRIEND, Rick are such great support for each other - and that's an important distinction I think - sometimes I feel like you think that you are the weak one in the relationship...And that you're so lucky to have him...But, you need to know that HE is just as lucky to have you!!! I think he knows it - that's why he is so unbelievably adorable that he went to Brad and Matty to make sure he is good enough for you - but, I want you to know it too. That's what being in love is. Equal LOVE. Equal partnership. Equal worth. <3 I adore you, and LOVED this post!!! And, btw, I told Matty two weeks ago that you were soooo in love!!!! :P xoxoxoxo!!

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  16. "Baby, when you cry, I get to see what you feel inside. That means you trust me with your tender side as well as your strong side. I am in love with it all."
    Now I am teary eyed!! sounds like ya got yourself an awesome guy there. Hold tight. Happy for you both!

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  17. It's good to see both of you working to make sure your relationship is strong, and able to go on! It isn't easy to do this. It takes courage, and maturity, and the will to maybe hear things that are hard to handle.

    I've no doubt that you're in love. When you explore your relationship to the depths you have, I think you can be pretty darn sure that love is the word used to describe. (Is "love" a description? Or a state of being? Hmmmm...)

    Sam, I'm so happy for both of you. Allowing yourself to love and be loved can be tough but you have proven that you are worthy of loving and of being loved. That's AWESOME! CONGRATULATIONS! And please give Rick a hug for me, and you get one, too! {{{{{HUG}}}}}

    Peace <3
    Jay

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    1. BTW, did you do the makeup party? How did that go? Looks like it'll have to be a two-fer today because I'm sure that is another post all together!
      Jay

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  18. You deserve to be treasured, and it sure sounds like Rick is perfect for the job (especially after earning Bradley and Matty's approval)! Enjoy every minute - I'm so happy for you1

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  19. Aw Sam-You-Are-In-Love, that's such a wonderful post! It's been amazing to be here from your debut and watch you bloom under the tender loving care of Brad & Matt and now RICK. I love the stitched up heart pic - very symbolic that you were just a bit ragged around the edges, NOT broken and NOT damaged because at your core you are unbelievably strong.

    Thanks for sharing this with us. I have to say though, we've been watching you guys fall in love for quite a while now :) I KNOW you're going to make it, always did because you're Samwise and you aren't going to give up on having the great life you imagine & deserve. I'm so happy you have RICK WHO LOVES YOU and equally happy that RICK has you! I'm hoping that even if/when you don't need us anymore, you'll still share Sundays because you are so adorable and LOVABLE! Love and (((HUGS)))

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  20. Darling Sam,

    Finding someone to love who loves you in return is glorious. I feel so much joy for you and Rick; from that first meeting it has felt like kismet—the two of you were meant for each other. I wish you nothing but happiness on your journey together. (((Hugs))) to you and Rick. :)

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  21. Aww, now I'm getting teary too! That is beautiful. Love to you both (and Matt and Brad too, of course)!

    --Trix

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  22. What a beautiful post, Sam! I love that image of Rick helping you to stitch up your heart, the two of you communicate so well I can see your relationship getting stronger and stronger. And I love that Rick values Matt & Brad and their place in your life.

    Big Hugs back to you!

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  23. Hi Sam,
    As I mentioned on Matt's Facebook, your post made my whole day. In fact, your entire series of blogs about your relationship with Rick should be read by every teen, gay or not gay. You guys have come at a relationship the way it should be done. You didn't rush. You didn't let passion overwhelm your intellect and reason. You got to know each other. You gradually peeled back the various layers of yourselves to the other and revealed the real you, even the parts you don't show to or share with others. You've gotten to know each other. You're friends, and now you're in love and you know you're in love. But you knew everything about each other (or at least much more than many couples do who rush a relationship) before you knew you were in love. In fact, that's part of why you fell in love because each of you understood the other so well, and accepted each other unconditionally, warts and all. Your meeting was pure happenstance, but with time and nurturing and by not rushing you guys have found the real thing. You have formed a bond built on a foundation of love and mutual understanding, and those are always the strongest ones. So congratulations from the bottom of my heart. You seem absolutely perfect for each other and I truly hope you guys stay together forever.

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  24. ach now I'm crying like a baby, but happy happy tears!!! Hooray for LOVE, hooray for Sam and Rick, how precious LOVE is, so happy you two have found each other and continue to grow with each other's LOVE
    Also to Matt and Brad for keeping their encircled arms around ye both through this beautiful time <3

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  25. Awww...this is so wonderful, Sam-I-Am-In-Love!!! Congrats!!

    And how very sweet was it that Rick (your BOYFRIEND who LOVES YOU and you LOVE him) wanted to talk to Bradley & Matt to make sure they thought he was good enough for you. So very precious.

    **BIG hugs** and lots of love to you!!

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  26. Awww! This is so sweet! :) Congratulations to you and Rick!!
    I hope this'll be the start of a long lasting, wonderful relation :)

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  27. Sam!
    I am so happy for you. Enjoy being in love. Rick sounds like a great guy. Glad you found each other.
    ~Whitley

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  28. You will cherish these wonderful moments for a long time. So, what happened on your first Valentine's together?

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  29. Sam, this is so awesome! Love is so very special and I'm glad you found it with Rick. *I can't believe he talked to Brad and Matt about it! How cool is that?* Congratulations to both of you and cherish every minute with your fabulous BOYFRIEND!

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  30. I am soooo excited for you! And proud of you! Rick is a keeper and so are you. So happy that you are able to see a glimpse of the wonderful things about you that we all see. You are my hero Sam-I-Am!!!

    "Love is the voice under all silences, the hope which has no opposite in fear; the strength so strong mere force is feebleness: the truth more first than sun, more last than star… " E.E. Cummings

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  31. WAIT WAIT WAIT JUST A BLOODY MINUTE HERE! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!! And this needs to be rectified. Soon. Dang it.

    We have NEVER heard from the BOYFRIEND who LOVES Sam-I-Am. RICK needs to chime in. This is an order! There has to be a 4th viewpoint on this blog, otherwise it is simply a three-sided menage-a-trois. (Which could be fun, but who am I to say since this olde farte hasn't ever had that opportunity. I write my blog alone.)

    OK, before I put on my flameproof suit, PLEASE realize that this is entirely TONGUE-IN-CHEEK (though I can think of better places to stick my tongue). (OK, sorry, that was uncalled for.)

    But seriously (I have withdrawn my tongue), what's the chance of getting Rick to chime in? Here's another piece of this wonderful puzzle that illuminates us, informs us, teaches us, helps us all realize that life can be a wonderful thing if we just let it happen!

    OK, done now. Flameproof suit on, since some folks won't realize this was sarcasm and facetious! Except the part about hoping Rick might take over Mondays or Thursdays or whatever day the rest of this wonderful group of guys isn't posting on!

    Peace <3
    Jay

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    1. It would be nice, Jay, but does Rick even know about this blog?

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  32. Sam, I am so happy for both you and Rick. Rick is obviously an incredible guy and you both are incredible together. My heart swells with joy for both of you. I look forward to hearing more about your beautiful love story. I am crying with happiness for you both. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us, Sam. It makes me realize how wonderful the world can be. ((hugs))

    Allison

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  33. So beautiful, Sam, just like you. Just like you and Rick together. IN LOVE. Keep taking care of each other and each other's hearts. As always, wishing you so much joy.

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  34. You always make me smile, Sam. And often I cry with you. Thank you for sharing your Love for Rick with the world. :D I am happy for you both.

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  35. So very happy for you, Sam! As Michael said yesterday, you've come at this in the Best Way Ever! And, always remember, not everybody GETS to do that! Both you and Rick (your BOYFRIEND) have shown maturity beyond your years (I wish we all could say that too!), and you so absolutely (BOTH of you) deserve this! :)

    *Wiping away happy tears* and feeling *good* in my heart, may I give you both *huge hugs* to say how proud I am of you both! <3

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  36. Wow! I'm so happy for you and I'm crying right along with you! You are so deserving of love and happiness, obviously Brad and Matt have always thought so, and I'm glad you now have Rick to show you how much more you deserve! The advice I got from my Mom before she passed away, which is the only thing I'd say to anyone else, is when it comes to love and whether you have found that, you just know! I'm glad you both get to discover how special and amazing you are, together! ((((hugs))))

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  37. Love is a word bandied about too much these days. To some love is borne of need, empathy, desire, and other superlatives. Such love is not love at all and can be extremely damaging. Even true love has its pitfalls when it is not reciprocal. Love isn't measurable by degrees, love is all or nothing. Love is unconditional and often detrimental to the self. There is no 'i' in love. I have been in love twice once with a boy, once with a girl. I know it was love because even after everything that happened I STILL love them.

    Everything sounds good for you and I wish you a smoother road than the one I found myself on.

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  38. Congratulations to you and Rick, hon. =)

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