Thank you to everyone who took the time to comment on my last post. I also want to thank all of you who sent me a private email and shared how you identified with some of the things I was talking about. When somebody opens up to me and shares some really personal stuff about themselves I always get a little emotional, even though what they're sharing is not overly emotional. I think it just makes me feel very special that somebody would trust me with such personal things.
I'm starting to learn that good things seem to happen when I let people I trust see parts of me that are difficult to show. Like I mentioned in the last post -- and I've talked about this before -- I'm basically a shy person. I use to think that meant something was wrong with me, like I was broken in some way.
Somehow I seem to have a lot of people in my life who are just the opposite of me. Matty is very outgoing and seems to have this interesting ability to see meeting new people as an adventure of some kind. He sorta perks up and likes to mix and mingle and he does this without overwhelming people. He never tries to take over conversations and never tries to dominate things, but instead he's got this easy-going way about him that people (including me) really like.
So what I'm learning about my shyness is this: Number one, it's shocking to me that I don't seem to be the only shy person in the world! AND I made a new friend Saturday night who's just as shy as me! Now that I'm putting myself out there, I'm learning that lots of people are shy. Even though being shy is hard sometimes, it feels comforting somehow to know there's lots of us out there!!
Number two, I'm starting to realize there is nothing wrong or broken with me because I'm shy. Sure, I wish I didn't get so anxious or withdrawn when I'm at a party, but maybe that will get better as I get more practice. That remains to be seen. I have a feeling I'm probably always going to be shy at heart, but I'd like to at least feel like I can be around people at a party without feeling like I have to go all invisible. Anyway, I feel hopeful!
Now for a little humor. Here's a pic of Matty at the party last Saturday night:
Oh wow. I don't know why you ever saw it as a thing to fix. Shyness is a personality trait or preference like, loves sports, loves dogs, hates crowds, etc. Just keep reading that box up there. If peeking out of your shell is right you'll know. Love the pics!
ReplyDeleteSounds like The Mighty Bradley has had some revelations and that's another step forward. Being shy isn't a bad thing and you can learn to work with your limitations so that you can get to a place where you're comfortable with situations and maybe be a little more outgoing too. It's all a part of the growing process which is something we should all try to keep doing. Yay Brad! And I love those pics!
ReplyDeleteYou may find as you get older, you change as well (cuz you're just a baby ;-P ). I tend to be shy and am an introvert. I did an internal career test at work years ago and was told I scored the highest level of introversion they'd ever seen in someone in my position. Um. Thanks? I'm in a position which requires me to talk to strangers, A LOT. But as I've gotten older, I've gotten better. I don't love it, I'll never be Matty who looks forward to it, but... It's better.
ReplyDeleteIt is even easier if I know SOMEONE in the room. I just at a two-day conference and several times I walked up to total strangers that I knew I had to introduce myself to, and it went really well, but in part I've learned how to "fake it". I don't look forward to it, but I can put myself out there when I have to. I guess I've learned what it looks like and I can imitate that, even if inside I'm going "Oh god, they're going to think I'm a weirdo". :-)
Those pics are sooo cute! Now I have Matty as a dancing cat in my head! Lol.
ReplyDeleteSweetie, you're right, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. Being shy is as normal as being outgoing. Between you and me I'm starting to think the social butterflies are the weird ones! *points to Matty's pic*. ;P
-Shell
I love that quote very much : it says it all.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah you're not the only shy person out there Brad, that's for sure.
I don't think that shyness means something's wrong with us. But it is definitely something that prevent us to be ourselves around people and we end up losing our self confidence.
When I noticed that my daughter was very shy I did all I could for her to feel more confortable around people (I even made her join a theater course!) She has changed a lot. Sometimes I even have to tell her to stop talking :P
Thanks for sharing your journey here, you're learning but I can tell you that I am too.
Love the pics!
*hugs to you both*
Hey Brad,
ReplyDeleteYou and Matt are such an inspiration. I love that you guys put yourselves out there for your fans, and by doing so you are reaching a lot of people that may feel the same way you do. By telling us about your fears/troubles, etc you are letting us in on a part of you and making us (at least me) feel like if I have the same fears/troubles that it's ok and we're not the only ones. Just like you saying that you feel like your the only shy person. And Matt working with his ADHD. I am so happy that you were able to make a new friend, by being yourself, it's the best way to go and it is going to make you the most comfortable in an enivornment that is uncomfortable for you. The fact that you are shy and Matt is outgoing is great, ever seen a couple with two shy people or two really outgoing people, makes it really hard. You guys compliment each other in your personalities. *hugs* The pics are adorable!!
Are you guys familiar with "Ted Talks"? I highly, highly recommend you watch Susan Cain's talk on "The Power of Introverts". I had so many Aha! moments the first time I saw it, and I was very moved by Susan's words, especially at the very end. Brad and Matt, you both open your suitcases and share so much with us via this blog. I hope you never feel pressured to change who you naturally are and that you continue to cherish and respect each other's unique qualities.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts.html
Love the pics, B :)
ReplyDeleteSee!!! Now you have me singing "Caturday, Caturday" LOL. Don't know the rest of the words or who even sings it, but now Saturday will forever be Caturday.
ReplyDeleteI'm a combination of a shy, an introverted and anti-social guy. Don't worry you really are not alone!!
ReplyDeleteBradley,
ReplyDeleteTalk about melting - that final photo of the 2 cats is beyond adorable, esp. the kitten on the left. I want to pick him up and just hug him tight, like I want to do to you. I guess it's hard for us to see ourselves as others do, but Bradley you are so not broken. You are wonderful. Everything about you is so perfect, even being shy. It's just who you are. And over time as you gain more confidence in your many abilities some of the shyness may disappear. But if it doesn't that's OK, too. Just be the great person you are right now, and you'll be fine.
As for the photo of Matty, I had no idea he was so furry! He looks like a lean, mean, dancing machine. :)
Have a wonderful weekend, you two. Hugs all around.
Those pics are great, Brad. Yes, there are lots of us shy, introverted folks around. That link of Madison’s is interesting, about society being biased towards extroverts. I know I was always pushed to be more “social”. Maybe things will change again and we will be allowed to sit quietly without being misjudged.
ReplyDelete*hugs*
Those cat pics are too cute! I'm so close to getting one! LOL. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteI have always found that the people I end up being closest to are those who have personality traits that complement my own (perceived) weaknesses in some way. They can be as introverted as I am, but they have a strength I wish for, that they're happy to share with me -- even if it's just knowing the Exactly Right thing to say at the Exactly Right time. And it really does get easier -- one of those "Fake it till you Make it" things. I find I'm most likely to have a teeny freak-out if I'm overtired or overstressed and then have to deal with a bunch of people in a tight spot, or too much too loud music, or whatever. For the most part I can assess how I'm feeling & know when to just stay home...but it's not always that easy.
ReplyDelete