First things first.
Thank you to everyone who took the time to comment on my last post. I also want to thank all of you who sent me a private email and shared how you identified with some of the things I was talking about. When somebody opens up to me and shares some really personal stuff about themselves I always get a little emotional, even though what they're sharing is not overly emotional. I think it just makes me feel very special that somebody would trust me with such personal things.
I'm starting to learn that good things seem to happen when I let people I trust see parts of me that are difficult to show. Like I mentioned in the last post -- and I've talked about this before -- I'm basically a shy person. I use to think that meant something was wrong with me, like I was broken in some way.
Somehow I seem to have a lot of people in my life who are just the opposite of me. Matty is very outgoing and seems to have this interesting ability to see meeting new people as an adventure of some kind. He sorta perks up and likes to mix and mingle and he does this without overwhelming people. He never tries to take over conversations and never tries to dominate things, but instead he's got this easy-going way about him that people (including me) really like.
So what I'm learning about my shyness is this: Number one, it's shocking to me that I don't seem to be the only shy person in the world! AND I made a new friend Saturday night who's just as shy as me! Now that I'm putting myself out there, I'm learning that lots of people are shy. Even though being shy is hard sometimes, it feels comforting somehow to know there's lots of us out there!!
Number two, I'm starting to realize there is nothing wrong or broken with me because I'm shy. Sure, I wish I didn't get so anxious or withdrawn when I'm at a party, but maybe that will get better as I get more practice. That remains to be seen. I have a feeling I'm probably always going to be shy at heart, but I'd like to at least feel like I can be around people at a party without feeling like I have to go all invisible. Anyway, I feel hopeful!
Now for a little humor. Here's a pic of Matty at the party last Saturday night:
And this is me sitting off in the corner:
And this is me telling all of you how I feel about your support: