Every time I see or hear the term "gay marriage," something inside me cringes. I know all the reasons people use this term, and to be honest, I've used it many times myself. But the more I think about it, the more irritable I get.
I'm not trying to be the PC police here. If you use the term, fine. It's not like I would ever say you're a bad person or that it's a "make or break" deal with me. Like I say, I've used the term myself and probably will use it again. It still irritates me, though.
The term I really like is "marriage equality." Nobody goes around talking about "straight marriage," so why are we talking about "gay marriage"? Shouldn't we just be talking about "Marriage"? Marriage for everyone? "Marriage Equality"? Isn't that what this is all about? Equality?
Calling it "gay marriage" sorta makes it sound like there are two different categories of marriage. At least to my ears. We're not talking about setting up two different categories of marriage. This is about "Marriage." One category. Period.
Okay. End of rant. I feel a little better now. Thanks for listening.
What do you think?
I agree with you Matt. Here the bill is called Marriage for Everyone and is being discussed. The debate is heated. Deputies have been debating the proposed law for more than a week, including all last weekend, night and day!
ReplyDeleteMore than 5,000 amendments have been introduced by opponents in an attempt to derail it.
I really think the law will be approved in the next few weeks.
I agree as well. I've used the term "gay marriage" and probably will again. But you're right. It's about marriage equality and that term better encompasses what we should strive for. It's about giving everyone the right and privilege of a recognized marriage.
ReplyDeleteAs a married het, I'm daring to weigh in as a global citizen. Things are a bit more advanced in Ontario. My impression of the term Marriage Equality is more of a legal thing. What's the point of being allowed to marry without all the rights I take for granted like medical benefits, death benefits, the right to be at his bedside in the hospital if need be? I feel like these are 2 steps right now & they shouldn't be. My fave sign I saw at the Wipe Out Homophobia FB page:
ReplyDeleteMarriage is about love not gender.
We shouldn't need a new rule book for something that should be basic & understood.
This reminds me of Liz Feldman's quote from 2008: "Personally, I am very excited about “gay marriage”, or as I like to call it, “marriage”. Because I had lunch this afternoon, I didn’t have “gay lunch”. And I parked my car, I didn’t “gay park” it."
ReplyDeleteI agree that "marriage equality" is a better (and more politically correct) description of the issue. Try not to take offense when well-meaning people use "gay marriage" though. It may be the phrase they heard first, and the one they hear again and again in the media (I know Stephen Colbert uses it) so they use it without thinking it has a negative connotation. It's good that you're speaking out and sharing your feelings. It just might make a few people stop and think and switch their phrasing.
xoxo
Yes it should be about marriage equality. And it should be about "marriage" not "gay marriage" or "same-sex marriage". Alas the US seems behind other Western countries with equality.
ReplyDeleteI've used the term too, as well as same-sex marriage. But I don't like those either so I'm with you on using the term 'marriage equality'. Marriage is marriage. If you want to dive in, you should have that right, no matter who is in the pool waiting to catch you. ;)
ReplyDeleteMe too, me too! I agree. :) It's all about equality and love, gender shouldn't matter. xo
ReplyDelete-Shell
You're right, Matt, it's about equality. Keep speaking up for what's right - you're educating and inspiring me, and plenty of others also, I'm sure. ♡
ReplyDeleteI think you're right about the words to use and I think you're perfectly allowed to be irritated about the wrong words. I know I've tagged posts with "gay marriage" and I do it possibly bring attention to it if people are searching those words. I think I'll switch to "marriage equality" :)
ReplyDeleteI also prefer the term marriage equality. I have said gay marriage in the past and I probably will in the future, but most of the time I say marriage equality. I mean I don't walk around saying my brother just get straight married, right? No, just married.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of marriage equality I'm trying to spread the word about the DOMA hearings in March. There will be many peaceful protests and sit ins all over the country. To learn more or participate please check out these web sites. My children and I will be protesting in Chicago. Maybe we will see some of you there!
http://www.lighttojustice.org/
http://www.advocate.com/commentary/2013/01/30/op-ed-call-action-supreme-court-demonstrations
Thanks so much for those links! And that's so cool you and your children will be protesting in Chicago!!
DeleteI agree Matty! I will have to use "marriage equality" more. Thanks for posting this. I am always interested to hear and learn others views. :)
ReplyDeleteHey guys,
ReplyDeleteOff topic but, I just wanted to say stay safe tomorrow with this crazy storm. I know Boston's suppose to get like 2 feet. Here in western Mass were expecting 12-18", fingers crossed my work will shut down early! You guys should enjoy a nice day of nothing but keeping each other warm ;)
I agree with you Matt. Love is love no matter who it belongs to and a marriage is a marriage between two people who love each other. Not two straight people or two gay people just simply two people. I'm glad you brought this up, sometimes we hear terms so much that we don't even really question them or the impact they make, we just fall into the habit of using them. Thanks for bringing "Marriage Equality" to the fore front I know now that I will definitely think twice when hearing "gay marriage" again.
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely right.
ReplyDeleteNow for the lecture. Listen, party animal, keep your ass at home tomorrow night and into Saturday. And, of course, keep Bradley's ass with you. Okay? Stock up tomorrow if you need to.
We just got 5" of (additional) snow from this system, and it will quadruple in power by the time it reaches you.
OK, when are you going to get "equally married" to Brad? Cause if you don't, lots of other guys want a chance with him. :-) Nah, we would not try to detour him from his destiny to be your lovely house husband.
ReplyDeleteYou know, Matt, I never looked at it that way before, but you're absolutely right! I'll try to use Marriage Equality from now on. :)
ReplyDelete100% agree. I use the term Marriage Equality when referring to same-sex couples having the right to marry. After all, it's about everyone having the same rights, not separate marriages.
ReplyDeleteI agree completely! It should definitely be Marriage Equality.
ReplyDelete