Sure, the foot soak at the spa was really nice.
The couples massage was really nice.
Having a dozen chocolate roses delivered was really nice.
Dressing up and going out to dinner was really nice.
But during the day we started thinking about all the "trappings" we had scheduled. And we realized that the absolute best part of the day ended up being the time we spent together. Alone. Not the time we spent together doing all these "things." I'm talking about the quiet moments we spent together when nobody else was around.
During the afternoon we decided to look at some pictures we had taken over the years since we've been together. Just the two of us sitting together on the sofa, our feet on the coffee table, talking about our memories.
Nothing fancy. No glitz. Just sitting together on the sofa next to each other.
Remembering. Holding hands. Cuddling. Chuckling to each other. Just quiet time. Alone. Nothing fancy.
It was really nice.
We both agreed that all the extra stuff we did was enjoyable. But there was something missing from all that.
There were too many people around with the "extra stuff" we did. It ended up being more distracting that we expected. Again, it was all nice. But.
If we had it all to do over again, we probably would have just planned a few simple things. Nobody else around. Just the two of us. We don't regret all the different things we did. It's not that. It was more a realization that we just needed some quiet, non-busy time together.
After all, this was about us. Not all the "stuff" we did. Not the glitz.
It sorta struck us that "love" doesn't have to be so "busy," if that makes any sense. Yeah, there are times when planning lots of "stuff" together is fun and can be important. But I guess we both realized that for yesterday, all we really needed was just a quiet day. Together.
Love, plain and simple. And yesterday, that part ended up being more than enough.
Are you sure you're only 20 something grasshopper? Some people never get that wise. It's a dilemma though and as the chef in the family you'll get this. Charlie is an amazing chef. Once in a while, we decide to go out and celebrate because it doesn't seem fair that he doesn't get to relax on special occasions. No matter how great or expensive the dinner is, we always end up saying the same thing. It's not as good as his. So we've learned to balance treating ourselves, letting other people pamper us and doing the quiet thing at home. Because sometimes I don't want to be the cleanup crew either lol. Glad you guys had a good day with an amazing finish.
ReplyDeleteGoodness, you guys just kill me...in the best possible way! The trappings of all that "stuff" gets people in trouble. There's a certain pressure to plan all the most romantic things you can find to do. But you hit on it perfectly, Brad, all that stuff is fun and really nice, but the impotant thing is to be together, enjoy each other, celebrate each other. And, more often than not, that's done In the quiet moments. Way to go boys! I'm glad you had a good time doing all the stuff...I'm even more glad you had the quiet times.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully said, and I totally agree. When I think back on my own relationships, the memories that become most vivid are those quiet, calm moments of intimacy that you're talking about. I think that's the problem with those times when things get so busy: the intimacy gets squeezed out of those moments. Probably because intimacy requires both vulnerability and being completely present to each other and the moment. Those are hard things to hold on to in busy, active situations.
ReplyDelete"...intimacy requires both vulnerability and being completely present to each other and the moment."
DeleteI had to read and re-read that sentence for it to seep in. I really like that, Colorful. :)
Oh yeah, did Matty survive the eyeliner? lol
ReplyDeleteYes!! Once I finally managed to get it on! He was unbelievably fidgety while I was applying it and kept saying I was trying to stab him in the eye. Then he said it looked like there was a missile heading for his eyeball! Sheesh! And then once it was on, he had this involuntary impulse to rub his eyes. He kept saying it felt like I got some of the stuff in his eyes!
DeleteBut once he settled down, he looked really sexy! :)
Too cute & funny! Missile LOL! Thanks for letting us know.
DeleteHa! I was fidgety because you were talking to me instead of concentrating on putting it on! And then... you started joking like that Cheerios ad where the parent is trying to get their baby to open their mouth: "Open your eye. Here comes Mr. Eyeliner!" You were being a brat! LOL! That very last line you just wrote saved you, BTW! :)
DeleteI think a lot of people get wrapped up in the trappings, confusing all of the action and "stuff" for a great relationship. It's hard to sustain that kind of relationship when times become serious or money becomes tight.
ReplyDeleteI don't worry about you two - you've got it figured out.
Hi Bradley,
ReplyDeleteAn excellent, thoughtful, and wise post, as usual. In my comment yesterday I speculated that yours and Matty's Valentine's Day would be great because of the time you two spent together, sharing your love for each other. :)
So happy that you had these special moments with each other. Never lose that intimacy.
Enjoy your weekend. Hugs to you both.
Awwww. You guys!!! Guess what JUST happened? Hubby and I are sitting in the family room with our laptops in our laps, piddling around online. I just read this post and was thinking how sweet it was that you guys spent time looking at old photos and reminiscing. I asked hubby, "What's your favorite picture of us?", expecting an "I dunno" in return.
ReplyDeleteWell, he went into this whole speech about how much he loved this certain picture of us. He pulled it up on his computer and said he was just looking at it the other day and told me how beautiful my eyes were and that it reminded him of when we first met and fell in love, blah, blah... It was probably the most romantic thing he's said to me in years. So THANK YOU! I can't stop smiling now. :-D
Sometimes it's those unplanned, unexpected moments that mean the most. Do you guys have a favorite picture of each other?
Brad & Matty -- keeping the romance alive for all of us, lol. xoxo
Aww, that's sweet Madison! That makes me so happy!!
DeleteYeah, there's this one pic of both of us that a friend took. It was suppose to be one of those standard "standing-side-by-side" pics everybody takes. I had my arm around his waist and he had his arm around my shoulder and we sere suppose to just be looking straight ahead at the camera. Then at the very last second, he turned to look right at me and he has the most absolute tender look on his face. Every time I see that pic, I get a lump in my throat. :)
Yes, that is what it is all about. All those things are nice, but you don't need any of it to prove your love.
ReplyDeleteA bit late, but ::sigh::
ReplyDeleteWonderful, lovely, and I wish other peeps could share the love you have together!
Hugs
Carole-Ann
"Just the two of us sitting together on the sofa, our feet on the coffee table, talking about our memories." *sniffle*
ReplyDeleteWishing you both many more times like this. ♡
You have so got it. Yes things are nice but you don't take those things with you. Its the memories that we keep. Or rather what memories that you leave with others about yourself. So happy for you both! And I'm sure you looked just as hot Brad! *hugs*
ReplyDeleteBy the way, how did the parties go a while back? I've been wondering.
ReplyDeleteYou just reminded me to finish writing that post! I started it and then got distracted with other things, including the big blizzard! LOL. Stay tuned! :-)
DeleteI agree just being comfortable with each other is enough.
ReplyDeleteSally h
And that's the way it ought to be!
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay