Eating Spotted Dick and Cock Soup

Right after this past Thanksgiving, I posted something about the incredible discovery I made in the grocery store, Spotted Dick. Well, wonder of wonders, I made a brand new, and equally exciting, discovery!

And now, Ladies and Gentleman, we now present for your eating enjoyment, the delights of Cock Soup!

That's right! You heard it correctly! Right in your local grocery story, prominently displayed for all ages to see. It's right there in the soup section with Campbell's and all the other soups and broths. 

I was a little concerned that the item wasn't put in a special Adult Only section, along with the Spotted Dick. I mean there are lots of underage children roaming the store and sometimes they're not supervised by adults like they should be. Imagine the different reactions of children to passing by this shelf. 

Some (like teenagers) might find it totally hilarious. But then what about younger kids who might have some awareness of carnal things but are not at the age where they can put everything in proper context?

So I decided to take my moral responsibility as a fine upstanding young adult seriously and began an investigation. I think grocery stores should finally be held to account just like other public settings where children of all ages might be found to roam.

I've gone back to the grocery store several times in my thrift-store trench coat and battered detective hat. I've also taken along my camera to document such outrageous displays of moral disregard for the well-being of young children.

Well, much to my dismay, I discovered another product I hadn't noticed the first time, probably because I was so morally shocked during my first shopping trip.

Not only do they have Spotted Dick for sale, and not only do they have Cock soup for sale, but get this: They actually have SPICY flavored Cock Soup! ----------->

Now any reasonably stable mind like mine (and yours) can only imagine what might go in that package to make the Cock Soup spicy, right? Well, between you and me, I'm not sure I want to know!

My main concern at this point is to go back to the store (without the trench coat and detective hat) and confront the Store Manager about this.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm a very open minded person and hate it when other people try to impose their moral values on me, but we're talking about young children here who might get some kind of traumatic shock that could be avoidable.

They should at least open a back room in the store where they check your ID before you can go in to purchase these kinds of products.

I'm only doing my moral duty as a good citizen here. I don't expect any honors or rewards for doing what all level-headed citizens should be doing in the first place. But if the Store Manager takes my suggestion and opens that Adults Only back room, I wouldn't mind just a small plaque off to the side with something like,

"On this date, January 31, 2012, Matthew (last name) did his moral duty to the welfare of young children, by suggesting this Adult Shopping Room.

In recognition of his outstanding moral courage, this Room will be known as Matty's Adults Only Shopping Room.

The management only wishes other civic-minded individuals had this young man's courage. The world would be a better place."

10 Things I Love About You, Brad

Back on January 18, Brad wrote about some of the things he loved about me. As you may recall, the idea for making a list like this was inspired by fellow Bostonian blogger, Brahmin in Boston (aka, Raji), who made a list of 10 things she loved about her husband.

Today I get to make my list, which by the way, is not everything I love about Brad, but just 10 things that came to my mind over this past weekend.

1. I love that you seemed to think it was the funniest thing you had ever seen when we took our first shower together and I was so excited about it that I took all my clothes off except for that baseball cap I always wear everywhere. You just looked at me standing there before you stepped in and said, "Are we going to the Red Sox game after this?"

2. I love that you like to read to me when I'm sick. Remember that recent head cold I got and then that time over Christmas when I had to go to the E.R. after accidentally cutting myself? I loved listening to your voice when you almost became the characters in the book. Who needs medicine when you start with that first line in my favorite children's book, The Wind in the Willows, "The Mole had been working very hard all the morning, spring-cleaning his little home."

3. I loved how patient you were with me a couple of weeks ago when I (once again) forgot to take my meds for the ADHD. My brain was all over the place and I was bouncing around, which is no fun for me or you. You got some ideas from some friends of ours about how you could help me remember since I have to take the pills at different times in the day, including the idea about going to one of those extended-release meds at some point. I still remember you sitting down with me and saying, "We're going to figure this out." I loved how you saw this as a teamwork thing.

4. There have been a few times when we're alone at home and you get this faraway look and I can tell your eyes are getting watery. When I ask you what's the matter you've told me you were remembering some unkind and cruel things your dad said to you when you were little. I love that you trust me enough to let me hold you so you can cry for a while. Those few times I get to know what you're feeling, not because you tell me, but because you show me. You let me see it. I love that you trust me with that.

5. You know how much I love vampire stories (do I ever stop talking about it?) and I loved seeing that expression on your face when you gave me a first edition copy of I Am Legend for Christmas. I think I loved watching your face light up when I opened the wrapping as much as I will always treasure that book.

6. I love all the simple and small things you do for me. Every time I try to program the radio in my car I get really frustrated because you have to hold one button down and then do something with the tuner and then push another button when you're done. Or something like that. Sometimes when I manage to succeed, I then undo everything when I try to lock it in. You took the time to read the manual and now every thing's locked in and now I can listen to the "Matty in the Morning" program on my way to school.

7. I love that you sometimes stop what you're doing when I'm woodcarving and come sit next to me and just watch. And when I explain what all the different knives and tools are for and show you how I use them, you seem so interested and impressed. And no, silly, I'm not Leonardo da Vinci!

8. When I was explaining plans to remodel the kitchen (oops, I mean your kitchen), I went on and on about all the technical parts (like the molding or mini-pendants or puck lighting). Before I realized I was not back at my old job and you were probably bored with all this, I loved how you kept asking questions about everything. Instead of getting frustrated with me, you gently let me know by the questions you were asking that I was talking like you weren't in the room. All this remodeling should be about teamwork and I loved how you made your point without getting mad.

9. I not only love how you look when you use eyeliner (those eyes of yours become even sexier), but I also love how bold you've become when we go out and you experiment with other things like that tinted shimmer. I love being seen with you and I'm learning how to be even more confident about my own body. I never thought I'd ever let you experiment on me like you have, but your boldness is rubbing off on me and I just might show it off in public, as long as whatever you do goes with my Red Sox baseball cap!

10. That day at the park when I was playing basketball with those little kids, I could see you watching and smiling at me. I love that when we were walking home afterwards, you told me I was going to make a great dad one day. And you didn't think I was silly because my breath caught and I tried to keep from crying.

My Lover...at Dawn

Almost a week ago, Brad and I received a poem written by Sammy, who is one of the many special followers here on our blog. She said in her email that she had been thinking about us "...and this was born out of that moment."

The poem really spoke to us in a very personal and intimate way. We asked if she would mind us sharing it with all of you and she graciously said, "Yes, of course. Once the poetry leaves my hands it is meant for you both and you may do whatever you like with it. And, of course it would be an honor to have it posted on your blog, that goes without saying."

Thank you, Sammy.



My Lover...at Dawn

By Sammy

As the dark slowly lifts and the dawn inches forward with soft tendrils of light I look at you, lying there next to me...

I watch the gentle rise and fall of your chest and breathe in the sweet scent of you...

Gently, oh so gently I reach out and brush back the lock of hair that has fallen upon your cheek, and hold it's silken length between my fingers for just a moment more...

As I drop my hand it grazes your cheek oh so softly, and you murmur restlessly, even now turning toward me, your heart reaching for mine, here in the last moments of quiet sleep.

As the light sweeps across our bed, and lingers, touching your sleeping form, illuminating your inner beauty, I am struck once more by the depth of my love for you...

I turn toward the coming dawn, feeling your heat at my back, knowing it's warmth will carry me on into a new day, holding me close in it's safe embrace and yet, at the same time, giving me the strength I need to fly.

Sexy Speedos and Underwear

I haven't shared anything recently from my collection of guys in Speedos or Speedo-type underwear. So, I thought I'd put up some pics I like and a vid.

Even though I like Winter a lot, especially when it snows, after a while I start getting tired of how long it takes to put on all those layers of clothes just to go outside. Then you have to gear-up with a thick coat, a scarf around your neck, heavy boots that get traction with the snow and ice on the ground, and a thick hat or cap on top! It's exhausting just thinking about it!

Bring on warmer weather and less clothes! I'm ready to see more flesh out there!

Note: You can see the UNCENSORED version here: Andrew Christian Blog.

Gay Movies: Positive and Hopeful Themes

Neither of us has really seen that many movies about gay teens or gay men.

Matty did a post on January 13 about a movie called Shelter, which is one we really liked. That post got a ton of comments and people started leaving their own favorite movie titles.

We thought we would do a series of posts every once in a while on gay-themed movies (or movies with gay characters who play a major role) and break things down into different categories.

We want to start things off on a positive note and ask you which gay-themed movies you have seen that tell a positive story. It could be in the romance category, dramatic category, comedy category, etc.

What we mean by this is we're looking for movies the two of us might like that tell a story about gay teens or gay men and portray them in a positive light. We ask that you NOT leave any titles that show gay people as being sick or abnormal or insane or pathetic because they're gay. Please!

We were talking to a friend of ours who told us about a movie that was about teenage gay male prostitutes who were controlled by their pimp with drugs and who would rape them. Some killed themselves by overdosing. We're NOT looking for movies like this. Please!

To further clarify, we'd love a list of movies that meets these qualifications:

• A "feel-good" movie we might enjoy on a weekend night when we're in the mood to cuddle up together.
• A movie that might involve angst and conflict and all the things that might happen in real life, but at the end you are left feeling hopeful that gay people can either overcome, or come to terms with, their conflicts and problems and difficulties. 
• A movie we might like to watch with some straight friends so they get the chance to see a story being told about gay people that enlightens them about how gay people have problems like everyone else, or even problems that are unique to gay people, and come up with meaningful and hopeful solutions.

The movie can be intense or lighthearted and can deal with "ordinary" problems or "difficult" problems. But the bottom line is that you would not hesitate to put your recommendation(s) in a category that's labeled "Positive and Hopeful Themes."

We also enjoyed how people would leave a comment on that January 13 post and other people would respond and there was an interesting discussion going on. You're welcome to do that this time also.

But just remember {begin sinister and foreboding music here}: We're gonna be watching this discussion like prissy and strict schoolmarms who won't hesitate to click the "delete" button on titles that deviate from our very strict guidelines. (Do I sound like Mr. Alpha Blogger or what? LOL)

Other than that {now in a happy and lighthearted tone}, let's have some fun!

Matty and His Tattoo

So while Matty was home sick the past two days (he's back now and feeling much better), he spent a little time researching some tattoo designs. He wrote a while back that he wanted to get a tattoo on his 21st birthday and we've been looking at some we both like, but it's ultimately his decision of course.

Here's some he picked out. Which ones do you like the best?

 Number 1:

 Number 2:

Number 3:

Number 4:

Number 5:

Number 6:

Number 7:

An Awkward Kiss

This is the second day I've had to miss classes and stay home due to getting some kind of head cold. We got a small-size snow "event" (as the weather forecasters call it) on Saturday and even though we only got about 4 inches, I spent a lot of time outdoors shoveling the driveway and sidewalk and clearing all the snow off the cars. Monday morning I woke up and my voice had dropped about 5 octaves and I sounded like a bull frog -- enough to frighten small children and make dogs think they might be able to score a kill on some poor unsuspecting frog nearby.

In between drinking about 100 gallons of water, running to the bathroom to pee it all out, eating some pretty delicious chicken soup made by the incredible chef living with me, taking naps where I would jolt myself awake because I had trouble breathing due to the congestion, and staying all bundled up in blankets on the sofa in front of the TV, I've been incredibly miserable. Poor me, right? {audience sighs and says "awwww" at this point}

The time home hasn't all been as dramatically awful as I'm making it seem, though your continued expressions of sympathy are welcome, thank you very much.

One of the worse parts of being sick is that Brad and I can't kiss, something I miss very much. We don't need two croaking bull frogs in the house, so we've made that sacrifice.

While Brad was in school yesterday I kept thinking about how much I missed kissing him. When he and I were first dating (I was 18 at the time and he was 17) he asked me if I had ever kissed another guy before him. I told him when I was 16 I had kissed one guy and it was just one kiss, and a pretty awkward one at that. After that one kiss I went through a kissing dry-spell until I met him.

I sometimes think I'm now trying to make up for lost time. I really enjoy our sex life but I think it's all the things we do before we get naked that make the actual sex so much fun and meaningful. It always starts out with a certain look or small gesture or a little knowing smile. Then there's the kissing. Oh yes, the kissing.

I suppose that very first kiss I had when I was 16 got all the awkwardness out of the way because the kissing Brad and I do is never, ever awkward. I don't think I could pick one single thing we do now that I like better than the other, but everything always starts with that little knowing smile and that first very gentle kiss.

As Brad was taking care of me last night, I was moaning and whining about not being able to kiss him right now. Even though he had seen it before, I showed him a little something I wrote back in September 2010 about the first time I had that awkward first kiss at 16. He smiled again last night when he read it and said in one way he's glad it happened since that very first kiss seemed to get rid of any awkwardness in my kissing. Brad graciously said he didn't mind if I put it here since he "won the prize."

An Awkward Kiss

Something I'll probably never forget is the first time I kissed another boy. I had just come out (age 16) and me and this other boy my age had been doing a little flirting with each other. It was so funny because neither of us had ever kissed another guy. 

I thought he was so cute and his lips were full and totally kissable (you know the kind).

I was at his house one day after school and we were watching something on TV, sitting on the sofa together.

There were some potato chips or pretzels on the table next to the sofa on my end, and instead of asking me to hand him the bowl (which I'm glad he didn't), he reached over me and sorta lingered there trying to get a handful.

Well, since his head was right there in my chest, what could I do but grab his head and turn it facing me and start kissing him. I kinda surprised myself for being so bold but I guess I figured he wouldn't mind since we had flirted some with each other in school.

I don't know what happened to the chips he had in his hands, but I do remember what happened to our lips. It seemed like we we're going at it for a long time but it was probably only a few minutes. Then our hands went everywhere. It was like everything was exploding all at once!

It was also the first time I ever felt another guy's hard-on or had another boy feel mine! Or at least I think that's what we felt since there was that double barrier of our underwear and jeans. We were probably just feeling up those folds you get in your jeans when you sit down.  

But, wouldn't you know, his sister came in the front door about that time (we were in the room next to the front door) so she didn't see anything!

But can you imagine how totally ridiculous we probably looked when she stepped in the room to say "hi"? I mean how do you get your breathing back under control, your clothes straightened, your hair in place and hide your boner, and look totally nonchalant?

So, she just smiled and went upstairs, and we just looked at each other and burst out laughing!

The One Millionth and One New M/M Romance Blog!

Over this past weekend, during a sorry excuse for a snow storm here in the Boston area (only about 4" got dumped), we got word from two friends of ours over in Goodreads (Laddie and Lauraadriana) that they had given birth to a new Blog for M/M Romance Readers, which they say is one more to be added to the one million blogs on M/M romance out there! 

When we checked it out it was so smoking hot we tried to think of a way to take our laptops outside so the snow would melt and we wouldn't have to shovel (even though I love being outside shoveling snow!).

Here's a little preview of what they have in store for their blog:



We have a lot of plans, which mostly include having fun and messing around, but also we just want to do a few things that we had been looking around for in the M/M Romance Blog World and had not found.

Here is some of the stuff we will be posting:

Monday’s Most Wanted:Weekly list of the books that are upcoming from M/M publishing houses, and that we want to read.

Book Reviews: We will be posting our reviews from Goodreads to the blog, and adding a thing here or there that would be a bit too…Ahem…Controversial on the website.

Series Reviews:We will be going through the most popular, controversial and any other series in the genre that catch our eye, and reviewing them as a whole.

Top Ten Lists: We never get much out the Goodreads lists , they are too general and the titles are too lame, so we’re going to make our own. Those will come out periodically.

Treasure Hunting:We’re going be out there looking for awesome online fiction, and sharing the ones we love.

Crackattacks!: My mind is like a playground full of crack addicted monkeys, and it’s not fair that Laura’s the only one that gets to laugh her ass off with the shit I come up with, so I’m going cut loose on there.

We also will try and get some interesting interviews from authors and share our thoughts on whatever else catches our interest in the mad mad world of gay romance.

Here's the link to their first post (The LL Word Blog) which you have to read to get a good sense of how these "LLadies" think, which is a little scary at first, but you have to be brave! ;) Once you read their first post, click on their banner at the top of their page and you'll get to their current post. Enjoy!

Lookie What's Happening in Indiana!

Indiana Gets A Gay License Place, 1st in Nation

Following a lawsuit from a gay advocacy group, Indiana will be the first state in the nation to offer license plates promoting LGBT causes.

The plates bear the logo of Indiana Youth Group, an organization promoting LGBT tolerance in schools — drivers can pay $40 for the specialty plates, with $25 going to the gay organization.

The Indiana Youth Group sued the state after the Department of Motor Vehicles twice turned down the request for the plates, with the DMV claiming that the money for the plates would go to salaries instead of programs with a statewide impact. Though the Indiana Youth Group's lawsuit was dismissed, it was later able to prove the value of its services to the DMV.

(NOTE: This is verbatim from http://www.advocate.com/, dated January 17, 2012, by Neal Broverman).

Making Love in History Class

So, what do you do when you're bored in history class? Well, make love, of course!

Back on December 19th, Brad said how excited he was that we managed to schedule one class together this semester. If you remember, it was a course in American History.

I've always been interested in history and I especially like reading about the American Civil War, so I was looking forward to see what the course would cover.

Going back to that post he wrote on December 19th, he said how excited he was "...knowing we'll be sitting together in the same classroom and can do homework and papers together. He's [Matty] a little worried that he'll be too distracted by me sitting right next to him, but I've told him he has to keep his hands to himself and face the professor! At all times! Either that or I'm moving to another place in the classroom, probably behind him so he can't steal these looks at me!"

Well, we had this History class yesterday and I just want it noted that Brad is not as innocent as he looks! He was all worried I would not pay attention to the lectures if he was sitting next to me.

We decided to get to the classroom a little early so we could make sure we had a seat next to each other. Really sweet, right? Actually it was one of those mini-lecture halls and it looked like it could probably seat about 50 to 75 people. It had these really long tables that sorta curved around in a semi-circle and we picked a place in the back of the room since Brad said it would be "safer" that way (!).

Since this was just the first class, we got all the rules we had to follow about papers that would be expected, attendance, make-up work, exams and then an outline of what the course would cover.

Even though most of what the professor was covering was on this handout he passed around, Brad was taking notes and being the good student and I was glancing over at what he was writing and worrying if I should be doing the same thing. But I figured if he was already taking notes, I could look at them later in case I missed anything. 

Well, let me tell you something about Dr. History Professor first. He was really animated and making all kind of gestures with his hands and was walking back and forth across the raised platform where he was standing. You could immediately tell he really, really liked teaching history.

At first I thought he might be a "loaner professor" from the English Department because he was using a lot of flowery language that made even this dull information about attendance, make-up work and exams sound interesting.

Since Brad was all concerned about whether I would be able to keep my hands off him during class, I agreed to keep my hands on top of the table in front of us instead of under the table. I told him I promised not to let them wander underneath and that I would pay attention to the instructor the whole time. 

Well, I'm proud to say I kept my end of the bargain. I was getting interested in what Dr. History Professor was saying about how we were going to cover some of the foreign "entanglements" the U.S. had gotten involved in over the years. I wish he had started his lecture since it already sounded interesting, but he was just giving an overview of the course topics.

So while Dr. History Professor was talking about all those "entanglements," the cute boy sitting next to me started bumping his leg next to mine. At first I thought it was just an accident because he was shifting a little in his seat. But then he started "tangling" his left leg around my right leg! I tried to just ignore it since I thought he might be testing me to see what I would do. I kept looking straight ahead so I could hear more about those "entanglements"  and didn't give Brad any attention, thinking he would be proud of me for passing this test. I must have passed because he moved his leg back and we went back to normal students listening to the teacher.

Then Dr. History Professor was saying something about the role of "foot soldiers" during the American Revolution. Almost like he was waiting for this, the cute boy sitting next to me moved his foot over to mine and actually, I swear to God, started playing footsies with me! Instead of ignoring this like I did with his leg "tangling" with my leg, I sorta gently shoved his foot away, again thinking this was another test and this was the right answer!

At this point Dr. History Professor said something about the "rise" of American capitalism. Well, since we were both getting a kick out of some of the words this guy was using (I swear he was really from the English Department), we both turned our heads toward each other and winked. Then I quickly turned back to face straight ahead, since I had no idea what the cute boy might do with that word and I would totally flunk the test I thought me might be giving me.

Then the professor used an expression, and I can't remember what it referred to, but I did remember him saying something about how we were going to cover "the expansion and retreat of [something]..." At this point I was a lost cause. I mean, I was waiting for that cute boy to do something having to do with "expanding" and "retreating." So I noticed him out of the corner of my eye (while continuing to look straight ahead like a good student) shifting in his seat again and he was trying in a very subtle way to make some kind of adjustment in his pants! Oh. My. God. Was something "expanding" or was this just another test for me? He didn't stay at it for long, and I forced my eyeballs to keep looking straight ahead the whole time.

Now I'm a total lost cause. Regardless of whether he was just being playful or giving me a test, he should know by now that once my brain starts thinking about sex, it gets stuck there. I can't be held responsible for anything that happens at that point!

I started thinking about what it would be like to put him up on that table and start having wild sex with him! Right in front of the whole class. Right in front of Dr. History Professor. Right in front of God! Thankfully I do really have some control over myself, even when my brain gets all revved and stuck on thinking about sex.

All I can say is that I successfully passed any test Brad might have been throwing my way. I mean, I'm there to get an education and get all smart and the boy started tempting and distracting me. How am I suppose to learn anything with all that temptation going on, huh?

I looked over at him, squinted my eyes just a little, and gave him a smile. He just looked at me with this puzzled expression and it seemed like his face was trying to say, "What?" I mean, the boy had been tangling his legs all around mine, playing footsies, adjusting his pants and he gives me this innocent expression like I'm in la-la land. He just shrugged his shoulders, smiled back and returned to taking notes.

Man, is flirting all he has on his mind? Does he not realize I can't think about American "entanglements" and "foot" soldiers and the "expansion and retreat" of something in American History while he's distracting me like he did?

If he was testing my agreement to not do anything to distract him, well, I passed with flying colors! I didn't act on my impulse to have wild sex with him right there in the lecture room. If I had, it would have been all his fault!

It's cool that we have this class together. It means we have more time with each other on campus. But I may have to find another seat if he doesn't learn a little self-control or find another way to test my self-control!

I mean, I'm there to get an education and get all smart and I can't have these temptations and distractions going on. So, while I discipline myself to pay close attention to the lectures, I just need to make sure a certain really cute boy doesn't cheat off my notes. And I'm going to have to cover my paper when we take a test so he can't cheat off me!

And we'll save those "entanglements" and "foot" play and "expanding and retreating" for when we get home!

10 Things I Love About You, Matty

About a week ago, Matty wrote something about a new bog we came across (the link to the blog is here) where the blogger listed 10 things she loved about her husband. We wrote her and said that we were so inspired by what she wrote, we were thinking about doing something similar on our blog.

Well, after the whole experience of starting college yesterday, I woke up this morning and thought today would be the perfect time to do my list of 10 things I love about Matty. He has an early class this morning and I don't go in until later, so I'm sitting here thinking about how he supported and cared for me yesterday. I guess this is kind of a love letter or love list to him and I'm sorta feeling like I can't hold all this inside. Anyway, here's what I came up with:

1. I love that you called my sister on Monday afternoon and told her how nervous I was feeling about starting school the next day. You know how close I am to her and you also knew I didn't want to bother her by sounding like a little baby. She called to tell me she was thinking about me and said just the right things she knew would help me feel special. I had no idea you had called her beforehand and I love that you did that for me.

2. I love that when we were chatting with some close friends online over the weekend, you made sure the focus was on me getting lots of support instead of the topic being on just some of the silly and fun things we often chat about.

3. I love that you got up extra early yesterday so you could go outside and take care of all the snow on the car and driveway so I could take my time getting ready for school. Yeah, I know you like doing stuff like shoveling snow and doing work outside, but I could tell you were doing this especially for me since I was having a little freak-out about the overnight rain/ice/snow event and was worried we wouldn't get to campus on time.

4. I love that you snuck out on Monday afternoon to buy some of those delicious muffins I like from the bakery down the street and had the table set with some fruit and coffee. Even though I never said a word about how I was probably not going to want a big breakfast, somehow you knew just what would put a smile on my face and just the right nourishment in my stomach.

5. I love how you surprised me with a wonderful and luxurious bubble bath (complete with candles set around the bathroom -- when did you buy those?) on Monday night. And that soaking in the tub was not about something that would lead to making love, but that it was all about helping me relax. You were so adorable sitting in there with me and just talking about how sweet I looked in all those bubbles and about how everything was going to be fine.

6. I love that when you found a parking space on campus on Tuesday you told me not to open the door just yet. You just reached over and took my hand, looked straight in my eyes, and told me how much you loved me. Then you made me stay in the car until you came around and opened my door for me.

7. I love that you made sure we were holding hands as we walked across campus as far as we could together before we had to go in opposite directions to our own class. And that before we separated, you adjusted the scarf around my neck to make sure I was warm and tucked a little bit of my hair that was sticking out of my hat back inside. And then gave me a kiss and said you couldn't wait to meet for lunch a little later.

8. I love that when you looked around the room and finally saw me sitting at the table in the little cafe where we agreed to meet for lunch, your face lit up like I've never seen it before. You started walking to the table and your face had this look that said something like, "God, I'm happy to see you." I almost started crying I was so glad to see you.

9. I love that when you got to the table, you leaned in to kiss me like we were the only ones there. And I love that when you sat down, all you wanted to hear about was what my class was like and how I was doing. I was so relieved you were there with me at that moment, I actually forgot to ask about your class (sorry about that).

10. I love that when we got home you went in the kitchen and made me a cup of that tea I love so much and we got to sit on the sofa together and just talk about the day. After a while, when I started getting sleepy (at 4:00 in the afternoon!), I love that you covered me in that soft blanket and then eventually led me to the bedroom where you tucked me in so I could take a nap. I love that you knew I just needed to rest for a while and didn't even once make this into an opportunity to have sex (though that came later in the night!).

Thank you for making the day one that I'll always remember. I love you so much.

Starting College and Whether I Should Believe Matty

Well, the BIG DAY is finally here. I'm starting my first semester of college today so I guess you can imagine I might be feeling lots of different things.

Okay, since you asked, here's the "short list" of my feelings:

1. Excitement. This is a life-long dream of mine, even if "life-long" sounds a little strange to me since I'm just 19 years old, but still....
2. Nervous. I knew I was going to be nervous, but getting reassurance from Matty and some really close friends helped me keep my feet on the ground, even when I thought I was going to float away!
3. A little Sad. I had a hard time figuring out why I was feeling sad. The closest I can come to understanding this is that it means I'm leaving behind this "image" (this may not be the right word, but it's something like that) of me being a "kid" and sorta entering this whole new world of "adulthood." It's a good sad, but it's still there.
4. Proud of myself. Hmmmm, not sure that qualifies as a "feeling" but I'm sticking with it. I'm proud of myself for setting this as a goal of mine and working hard to make sure it comes true.
5. Hopeful. I feel like this is something important I'm doing to make a strong foundation for my future.

Now, I have to say something about the second half of the title of this post, that part about "Whether I Should Believe Matty."

He told me last week that there was one thing he never told me about starting college. He said he didn't want to freak me out. So naturally I start getting a little freaked because he was saying it in this really serious tone of voice.

He said every incoming Freshman class has to go through some kind of "initiation" because it's part of college tradition. He said each semester there's a theme and this semester the theme was "A Freshman Scrubbing."

Since we've been together, I have sorta learned by now when Matty's kidding and when he's being serious. I was about 40% sure he was just joking with me, but I've heard about things like college hazing and college pranks, so I thought maybe he might be telling the truth. Expecially since the theme kinda sounded like some kind of "hazing."

He said this theme, "A Freshman Scrubbing," had been used about 5 years ago with that new Freshman class and it was a big hit so they were using it again this semester. He said there was even a video made and asked me if I wanted to see it. Well, I thought if there was a video out there, maybe I should believe him more than just 40%. Maybe I should move that number up to about 60% or higher.

Well, here's the video he showed me. After watching it, you tell me whether I've sharpened my skills in knowing when he's joking or being serious!

Well, wish me luck on my first day. Oh, and I most certainly am not going to be washing any cars today!!!

Free At Last, Thank God Almighty, We're Free At Last

I have never, ever been able to hear this speech without crying. On this day when we're celebrating Martin Luther King Day in the U.S., I hope his dream of Freedom for All someday becomes more than a dream, but a living reality for everyone.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

(January 15, 1929 – April 4, 1968)

Shelter

We saw an amazing movie recently and highly recomment it:

The blurb is: Forced to give up his dreams of art school, Zach spends his days working a dead-end job and helping his needy sister care for her son. In his free time he surfs, draws and hangs out with his best friend, Gabe, who lives on the wealthy side of town. When Gabe's older brother, Shaun, returns home, he is drawn to Zach's selflessness and talent. Zach falls in love with Shaun while struggling to reconcile his own desires with the needs of his family.

A Transvestite Brigade

I don't know if you guys have ever heard of Eddie Izzard, but I just discovered this really funny comedian and thought you might enjoy seeing a small segment of one of his shows.

BREAKING NEWS: It's Number ONE!

We interrupt this blog to bring you BREAKING NEWS.

Do not be alarmed! Stay calm! Keep breathing! We have the situation under control. Please follow instructions from the authorities and everything will be fine!

BROADCAST ANNOUNCER:~~clearing throat~~: The authorities have just learned from reliable sources (those cute and adorable bloggers from Boston, Matty and Bradley) that one of their big brothers, Vicktor Alexander, is now officially a Number One Best Selling author!

The authorities have also learned that the same author has a second book in the Top Ten.

We are please to report that the Number One book, Unthinkable, can be found at the ARe (All Romance ebooks) site, which can be found at: http://www.allromanceebooks.com/.

The authorities feel the reading public needs to know, in the interest of full disclosure, that the sources for this Breaking News, (the above mentioned cute and adorable bloggers from Boston) are mentioned in the author's Dedication to the book, along with some other wonderful people.

Since the authorities believe in the public's need for complete and accurate information, we are quoting the blurb in full:

Richard Tillson was happy with his life...well...sort of. He has spent the last few years of his life making a name for himself in the dance community, has a very expensive apartment in Manhattan and he knows he's gorgeous. So why is he so miserable? 

Enter Vernon "Vet" Tate. The older brother of Richard's best friend Amanda Lynn. The first time the two men meet it's when Vet is saving Richard's life from an oncoming vehicle. Moments later Vet is turning Richard's life upside down by telling him that his baby sister, who had passed weeks before, left her three newborn children to Richard, to share custody with Vet.
Things wouldn't have been so bad for Vet if Richard wasn't also his mate, his very human mate.
So how will Richard cope with becoming a father, giving up his sophisticated New York lifestyle for a ranch out in Wichita Falls, Texas, and finding out that not only do shape shifters exist, but he's the mate of the Alpha?

BROADCAST ANNOUNCER: The second book, Inconceivable, is currently at number 8, and again the authorities want to disclose that the Boston Boys are also mentioned in the book's Dedication. The blurb for this book is also quoted in full:

Tommy Wilkins, a.k.a. "Tammy Walks" was happy with his life as one of the highest paid drag queen performers in New York City. He had a gorgeous apartment in Greenwich Village, men throwing themselves at his feet and he had lots of money in the bank. He didn't need the family that shunned him, the boyfriend that used to beat the hell out of him or even the gorgeous sexy linebacker looking Texan cowboy, named Anton "Ton" Forrester, that his friend Richard introduced him too. All he needed was himself.

But Ton wasn't going to give up so easily because you see, Tommy is his mate, and he wants all of him, makeup, heels, dresses and costumes included. He wants to heal every scar and make the smaller man believe in love again.

There's only one problem, someone is determined to keep the two men apart, even if they have to kill Tommy to do so.

The specific link to Unthinkable is: http://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-unthinkable-660942-139.html

The specific link to Inconceivable is: http://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-inconceivable-660948-140.html

The authorities wish to inform the reading public that everything will be under control by following this simple instruction: Follow the links provided above and check this out.

Thank you. That is all.

10 Things I Love About You

About a month ago, Brad and I discovered a new blog we've been following on a daily basis. And we were pleasantly surprised to learn she lives in the Boston area also!

On her blog profile, she describes herself this way (and the last sentence made me think I had found some kind of 'soul sister' in this person!):

Gemini Girl - that might describe me aptly. Nothing makes me more confused than a good book in hand and a good dancing music, at the same time. Read or Dance? A HUGE random queen. My thoughts are constantly flitting in different directions and I can only hope people can catch up to the speed of it!

She's been leaving comments on our blog and we emailed her and asked if she would mind if we highlighted a particular post we both really enjoyed. We particularly loved one sentence in the post that said, "I was always a believer that where there is respect there is love." 

She wrote us back and said she was happy for us to post whatever we liked. We think you might enjoy what Raji (or Brahmin in Boston) has to say. She's been blogging for 4 years now, writes about different things happening in her life, her marriage of almost 6 years, her love of M/M romance books, and even loves posting pics of really hot men (those posts usually have titles like, "Transit Hotness" (a "rear-view" of a guy she saw on the subway), "New Year Hotness", "Hotness...", well, you get the idea!

As a matter of fact, we told her she was inspiring the two of us to write our own "10 Things I Love About You" post and model it after hers. We hope to put our own post up sometime next week.

Here's the link to the post on January 2. After you read it, click on the banner at the top to get to her home page and enjoy what she means by, "My thoughts are constantly flitting in different directions and I can only hope people can catch up to the speed of it!"

10 Things I Love About You

Growing Up

I have a lot of growing up to do and it's a lot harder than I ever thought.

I want to share something that happened this past weekend that was really hard for me to go through while it was happening and is still hard even after everything got all worked out.

Just so you know, Matty saw this post before I put it here and completely supports me in posting it. We made an agreement before we ever started this blog that we would never use the space here to publicly agrue. 

We thought it might be a good idea to share a little of what happened because we're both learning that relationships can get really complicated sometimes and you can't always see what you need to do without the help of friends and people who care enough to be very honest with you.

I'll give a summary of what led up to the problem and then talk about how we worked things out.

Last week Matty had some negative feelings about something that happened between him and a friend of his. He got really worked up about the whole thing and within the span of just a few minutes had decided he never wanted to have anything to do with this friend again. He started saying all kinds of mean and unfair things about this friend -- but not to this friend. He was saying all this to me and a couple of other friends of ours. By the way, we're all friends with this person Matty was so angry at.

Nothing anybody said to Matty about how he was handling this was getting through to him. Everybody was telling Matty he should talk to the friend about what was bothering him and try to work things out. Matty kept getting more and more mad and said some really nasty things about the friend. It was really hard for all of us to be around because he was getting more and more worked up and couldn't see how talking to his friend would help. He just kept saying all these harsh things about his (and our) friend and wouldn't let any of us help him think about what he could do.

After a while he eventually calmed down and contacted his friend and within about five minutes everything was worked out. It had all been a misunderstanding on Matty's part and they're good friends again.

Matty then apologized to me and the other friends he had been talking to for saying all the harsh things he did and making all of us get really upset with him. You could tell the apology was real and genuine. Matty was upset with himself for being so unfair to the friend and was also upset with himself for involving all of us and being so self-centered (his words) that he was taking his feelings out on us.

Well, in addition to feeling good that Matty and his/our friend were okay again, we all accepted his apology, not that he was mad at the friend because that happens sometimes, but that he was taking his feelings out on us and pushing us away while we were truly trying to help.

After he apologized and I (thought) accepted it, I didn't realize at the time that I was still feeling really upset with him. To be completely honest, I had this worry that maybe he didn't really learn anything and it might happen again and the apology was just empty words.

I didn't tell him this because at the time I didn't realize I was still doubting his apology. All I knew was that I was still skeptical of his apology and thought I had to keep some kind of "punishment" going because -- and this is hard to admit -- I sorta felt like I couldn't trust his apology. I kept my distance from him and sorta started this cold war.

Later the next day he was joking around with me and just being his usual silly self. He's actually a lot of fun to be around when he's feeling happy and enjoying being with me. Sometime he likes to pick on me, all in a playful and fun way, and we go back and forth with these really silly jabs and usually end up feeling super close to each other. What Matty didn't know was that I had this "secret cold war" still going on inside of me.

At one point I asked him to stop all his kidding around because I was getting irritated with it, but he thought I was just being playful and kept on and on and on, trying to get me in a better mood. When he wouldn't stop and I had enough, I snapped at him and it sorta startled and confused him. He could tell I was serious and, since he didn't know there was this cold war going on, he snapped back at me. Since we're being honest here, I called him an asshole and he snapped back and said I was being the asshole.

Well, the cold war then became a hot war and I stormed out of the house, got in my car and called my sister. My sister and I have always been really close and I can tell her anything and know she'll listen to me, take me seriously, and be totally honest with me.

I told my sister everything that happened over the past few days including how Matty handled the friend situation, including the fact that he apologized for how he had taken out his feelings on me and the other friends who were only trying to help him out.

I told her I didn't know if Matty would go back to his old ways and do it all over again and I had to keep on him and not cut him any slack because I maybe didn't trust his apology.

Eventually my sister said something like, "You make Matty sound like he's our dad." You see, my dad use to make all these screwups when we were growing up and then he'd apologize and we'd believe him and then he'd start drinking again and being a real asshole. It got to where nobody believed him anymore and we all ended up really hurt and didn't trust his apologies anymore. My sister pointed out that when somebody close to me screws up and then apologizes, I have a hard time believing them.

The other thing I realized was that when Matty gets going with all his kidding around, most of the time he's really fun to be around. He's got a wicked sense on humor and most of the time we have a ball joking back and forth. Then sometimes I start loosing my patience with it and ask him to cut it out. I guess he thinks I'm just kidding and he keeps on with the joking while I'm getting more and more annoyed until I finally snap at him.

I know a lot of it has to do with his ADHD. Up to now I've been putting it all on him to control that. The medication he takes helps a lot, but sometimes he can get really, really hyper and I don't know what to do to make him chill. So, I snap at him. Guess what that does? It only makes it worse and I end up really pissed off at him and he ends up confused and pissed off because he thought he was just being funny.

Two really close friends of mine pointed out to me that this is something Matty was born with it and it's a part of him and if we're in this relationship "in sickness and in health," then I can't just put everything on him to "fix" or "control" his brain and how it works. They said I should have a serious talk with him about it and see if we can't figure out I can help him with it. For example, when I'm getting aggravated and annoyed and irritated, maybe we could work out a signal I could give Matty so he knows I'm not playing around anymore and for him to see if he could take a one minute chill.

So, two big lessons came out of all this for me:

One is to not take out my feelings about my dad on Matty. When Matty does something that makes me mad, like lash out at me when he's really mad with someone else, and then realizes what he did and apologize for it, I have to give him the chance to show he means the apology and not automatically assume he's like my dad and can't be trusted.

The second lesson is about the ADHD. I have to realize that since we're in this relationship together, I have a part to play in helping him understand how it affects me and we both have a part in finding some ways to deal with it when it becomes a problem. That's what being together "in sickness and in health" means to me. You can even change those words to mean, "during problems and good times." It's all the same to me.

So, yeah, like I said at the beginning, growing up is a lot harder and more complicated than I ever thought. I have to trust more (which can be scary because of all that stuff with my dad) and I have to see our relationship as a "partnership" where we work together when we're having problems.

Oh, and the other really, really big thing I learned has to do with how important it is to have true friends in your life. Friends who care about you and aren't afraid to tell you the truth and point out things you don't see. It might strain the friendship because they might be mad at you for being unfair to the person you love, but if friends can't be honest with each other when they care about you, then I guess they're not really friends at all. I'm glad I have some true friends in my life who care about me (and Matty) and help us while we're trying to grow up.