Well, it looks like Brad and I can officially claim the title of "Matchmaker."
If you remember from our post a few days ago, we invited two of our friends to spend Thanksgiving Day with us. My friend, Mark, and Brad's friend, John, are now what my brother would call, "a hot ticket."
They had never met before but we thought they might hit it off, and boy is that an understatement!
My friend, Mark, has been about as happy as I've ever seen him in a long time. He's been calling me, texting me, emailing me, and I'm expecting to see one of those carrier pigeons with a note from him arrive at the front door any moment.
I'm really happy to see how happy he is. He's had some very difficult things to deal with in his life, beginning with being kicked out of his home when he was 16 after telling his parents he was gay.
He's also dated a few guys in the past who treated him badly and is understandably careful about how much he opens himself up to people. We've both been telling him to just take his time and not rush anything, which is always good advice to give, especially when you're first starting to date someone new. But, because you're all excited, it's not always easy advice to follow.
The guy he's dating, John, went to high school with Brad and I met him for the first time about a year ago. He's really sweet and a little shy and the first time I met him he was so nervous I wouldn't like him. He and Brad really understand each other in a lot of ways and have always been the tightest of friends.
Both of John's parents are heavy drinkers and there was a lot of chaos going on at home. He and Brad have always been so supportive of each other since Brad's father was a heavy drinker until about a year and a half ago. From what Brad has told me, when you grow up in that kind of situation at home, it makes you have second thoughts about being open and trusting with other people. We haven't written anything here in the blog about how that's affected our relationship, but Brad's thinking about sharing some of that at some point.
Anyway, all this has made Brad and I think a lot about how important family is. We're all born into a family of some sort, and if you're lucky that family accepts you and loves you and cares about you. No family is perfect, but you always hope there's enough maturity on the parent's part to know how to handle the problems. If that maturity is not there, at some point it's important to find people in your life who you can trust and maybe make your "chosen family."
It feels good to us to see both Mark and John so happy. It's been less than a week since they first met each other but it reminds the two of us how excited and nervous we were during that first week after we met.
It also makes us feel good that both Mark and John trust us enough to talk about their feelings, ask our advice, and want our support. It's an awesome responsibility to be someone's "chosen family," and we feel like ours has just expanded.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I just saw that carrier pigeon fly by the window. It probably has a note from Mark and I need to see what's up. Talk to you guys later. Have a nice day.
How sweet. I hope it works out for them
ReplyDeleteThat's so cool for your friends!! I am super excited for them. Congrats guys!
ReplyDeleteI have to tell you that it's one friend of mine and my now-husband who decided to introduce us 16 years ago!! Sometimes, it does work! :)
As a parent, I understand better my parents' concerns and I try really hard to always be there for my kids and I hope they know they can rely on me. But it is not always easy. The other day, my daugther asked me if I loved her brother more than her. I can tell you that It was a hard time for me to hear that, but I was happy she trusted me enough to tell me.
Anyway, that's good that both of you can be the family your friends don't have.
Oh, and now, you can plan double dates!!! :P
Have a good day guys!
*hugs*
I hope it's a rainy day in Boston! ;)
Hi Ivan. Yeah, they are so, so sweet together.
ReplyDeleteCarnell, I like how you said as a parent you try to be there for your kids. And you also said it's not always easy. I think kids can tell when their parents are at least trying. No parent can be perfect, but I can guarantee you kids know when they're loved and cared for.
And, yeah, maybe we can double date with Mark and John at some point. Right now, though, I think they're enjoying their time together, which I can understand! ;)
Oh, and it's suppose to rain sometime tonight and into tomorrow here. I might have to wake Brad up if it's too late so we can do our dance on the back porch.... ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your friends hit it off and are beginning a relationship! That's wonderful, it's always nice to see your friends happy. *hugs you both*
ReplyDeleteMatt: You and Brad did a wonderful thing bringing together two guys. You can replay your relationship by watching this new one bloom. And now you are the experienced mentors.
ReplyDeleteGood for you guys! How nice that it is working out for them. It is always nice to see people happy together, especially since it sounds like they both have had a hard time of it.
ReplyDeleteMatt, I still can;t understand how parents can turn their backs on their children. I mean, gay, straight, what difference does it make, they are still our kids. It truly breaks my heart every time I hear a story like this. I have a young friend in North Carolina who has went through the same thing, he was 18, but had not yet graduated when it happened. He has a baby sister that he does not get to see because his mother thinks he is an abomination. She is one of those type "Christians". I was at the point of trying to borrow money in order to get him away from there, give him a place to stay where he would not have to worry about paying any rent for as long as he needed a place. But, then he met Scotty a few weeks ago. Scotty is older, but does not seem to be taking advantage of Richy. He is actually 18 years older, but his family has pretty much adopted Richy and Scotty moved him into his apartment because the people in whose apt he was staying was pretty much forcing him to pay all of the rent, leaving nothing left for food. Anyway, Richy is doing well right now, is with someone who seems to really care for him.
ReplyDeleteSo, we have two happy endings, your friends and mine. Hopefully both will continue to work.
As for you two, have fun dancing in the rain, just don't get sick.
Love Ya'
It just makes my heart swell (oh..I know...corny) when a relationship begins. It is so exciting.
ReplyDeleteYou guys were so sweet having your friends over, as friends and as extended family.
I hope things work out well.
Have fun dancing in the rain! :-)
Hugs to you both
Mwah
Aww very sweet indeed. I don't know what to say except that and hope that they make it through everything. It's new and it's different I'm sure of that and well I guess there are just a lot of things to adapt to but I think your freind and Brad's will make it alright.
ReplyDeleteI guess you're right, Matt. But, it hurts anyway.
ReplyDeleteI remember when my son was born, the thing I was worried about was that my little girl feels neglected, so I was very attentive about everything. Once, they were in my bed and instinctively I kissed my baby son. She was 4, she looked at me and asked me if I had not forgotten something. I said no. She replied that I had forgotten to give her a kiss. Since then, I promise myself to be even more attentive. And Bam! She tells me that the other day. And when I asked her why, she told me that when I asked her to take a shower, her brother could stay watching TV!
Being attentive about everything is not enough and kids can be hard. Sorry, I am babbling but I needed to. :)
Oh, but they also can be fun. Viggo told me today that I will be a grandma soon (I almost choked!) because after being a mom, I will become a grandma! Logical, no?
*hugs to you both*
That's great that you could bring a couple together. I hope it works out for them and wish them all the best. It is cold here and has been rain/snowing mix. Ugh...I don't mind looking at the white stuff but I don't really like to be cold. But, on the other hand, it does give me a reason to snuggle up.....hmmm.....
ReplyDeleteOh, BTW, how are things going with school for you guys? Just wondering....
*big hugs*
I agree with you Mary. I will never understand how a parent could just abandon their child like that. Sixteen years old! What the hell - who does this? So heartbreaking.
ReplyDeleteMatt and Brad, I'm so glad they have you two to count as their friends. We should all be so fortunate to have such wonderful friends in our lives. As if you two weren't lovable enough, you go and play matchmaker......*sighs*.
“Friends are the family we choose for ourselves." - Edna Buchanan
Thats so sweet, I am happy for them ^_^
ReplyDelete*I love that carrier pigeon bit, had me laughing*
Hey, you guys are so great! Thanks for being an inspiration!
ReplyDeleteIn response to Mary Gresham: I grew up baptist in Charlotte NC and still at age 35 have not come out to my family. I am glad to hear that Richy is doing well.
John jas75135@yahoo.com
I have to compliment you. For two young guys you have a very professional blog. I would like to contact you about doing a possible interview. I used to interview gay bloggers all the time for bestgayblogs.com, which was sold. But I still love to do it for fun.
ReplyDeleteThat's brilliant! I hope it works out for them and they can be as happy as the both of you. I don't understand how parents cannot accept their child, and I don't think I ever will. There's nothing on earth that would make me turn my back on my child. Sometimes, your 'chosen family' is what you need to get through the hard times. I know I rely on mine a lot. I hope you got to dance in the rain.
ReplyDeleteHUGS
Aww I'm so happy for Mark and John! That's awesome! And you guys are right, chosen family is an awesome responsibility, but the emotion is so much deeper. I love my chosen family, wouldn't trade them for the world.
ReplyDeleteWhat an absolutely sweet love story...and how did I miss seeing this when you posted it? :) Glad I had time to rummage around my Blogger Dashboard today!
ReplyDelete