Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Eating Spotted Dick

I go with Brad sometimes to the grocery store, and as usual, my brain is all over the place. While he's on a mission and has his list of things to buy, I'm walking up and down all the aisles looking at all the different things on the shelves.

Well, the other night he wanted to pick up a few items he had forgotten last week and I went with him. I can't remember which aisle we were on, but my eyes zeroed in on a shelf that had some cans of "Spotted Dick." I'm serious. I'm not making this up. I mean, what will they think of next, right? 

I almost made a scene when I grabbed a can and went running to Brad to show him. I was laughing so hard and trying to think of some funny line about the can. Sometimes when I get like this, I forget there are other people around!

Me: "Brad! Look at this! I found some Spotted Dick!"

Brad: "What?"

Me: "Some Spotted Dick. I found some Spotted Dick. Look!"

Brad: "Will you keep it down?! What are you talking about?"

Me: "Look!"

Brad: "Oh My God!"

Me: "Let's get some, okay?"

Brad: "Not before I see what's in that can!"

Me: "It's right here on the label. Look. SPOTTED DICK. I want some!"

Brad: "Oh My God!"

Me: "I think it's some kind of pudding."

Brad: "I'm not eating anything called, 'Spotted Dick.' Go put it back."

Me: "Oh, you're being silly. Let's at least try it."

Brad: "Matty?"

Me: "Yeah?"

Brad: "Go put the Dick back where you found it."

Me: "But..."

Brad: "Will you lower your voice?"

Me: "Oh. Sorry. If you're not going to buy it, I am."

Brad: "Are you going through the checkout line with that can?"

Me: "Yeah."

Brad: "Will you please hide the label?"

Me: "Why? They have to scan it and people will get a kick out of it!"

Brad: "Let's get in separate lines then."

Me: "Why?"

Brad: "Matty?"

Me: "What?"

Brad: (*giving me the 'stern Bradley' look*)

Me: "Sometimes you are absolutely no fun!"

Brad: "No, that's not it. It's just that..."

Me: "What?"

Brad: (*speaking in a low voice*) "I prefer my dick unspotted."

Me: "Oh....... I think we might find some of that at home."

Brad: "Go pay for your spotted dick. But I want you to understand one thing."

Me: "What?"

Brad: (*with this sly grin*) "I don't pay for my dick."

Me: "Come on. Finish shopping and let's go home!"

52 comments:

  1. lol, I actually DO know what spotted dick is, it's English, but I am surprised they had it at your regular grocery store, around here you can only get it in British specialty markets.

    But I can just picture you running around with the can in your hand desperate to show Bradley. LMAO

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  2. OMG, Iv. You know what Spotted Dick is, but have you ever eaten it? I'm actually afraid to open the can! I have all these wild ideas about what might be inside... scary to think about! I may have to go back and get a second can since I want to keep the one I have proudly displayed in the kitchen!! LOL.

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  3. ROFLMAO! That was hilarious. Thanks for the pick me up today!

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  4. Can I just say that I love you guys? It's always great to start the day with a good laugh! :)

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  5. Mwahahahahah!!!! You're so much fun.
    But Matt, you must stop teasing us... :)
    Was this "Spotted Dick" anything good???

    *Hugs*

    It seems that you don't have tasted it yet...
    What are you waiting for? And it's microwaveable, so no risk in the kitchen for you!!! Come on, we, euh...I want to know! :P

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  6. Thank you for the laugh at the beginning of a long work day! You know... more than anything else, the humor you guys show with each other makes me believe what you have together will last.

    And the ingredients are pretty harmless (the spots are raisins) but I think the can on the shelf is priceless. There are recipes online if you wish to cook yourself a Christmas spotted dick to actually eat - make that if BRAD wants to cook...

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  7. No, I have never eaten a spotted dick. They offer them up for sale at a British Pub around here though. But I am much like Bradley when it comes to dick.

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  8. This is so cool you guys like the humor. I normally hate shopping of any kind, but this visit to the store may just change that. I mean, if I found spotted dick the other night, what, I ask you, might still be waiting to be discovered? Now my brain is making up all kinds of names for similar items!

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  9. Oh no, you guys! Now "Spotted Dick Boy" is thinking about going back to the store (without me this time!) to buy all the cans of this stuff they have to give as holiday gifts!! Geezzz!

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  10. I'm all for free, freckled dicks. It's the "sponge" pudding that has me worried! I'm with Brad on the OMG would you hush in the grocery aisle, though. Jeez {blushes} You'll have to let us know what's in there and how it tastes. All I can imagine is Spam!

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  11. Oh this is going to sound all wrong... yep I know what spotted dick is, not only have I eaten it but I know how to make it from scratch as well!

    Yes, now take your minds back out the gutter!

    It's a traditional old style English pudding (originally a suet pudding but now more of a sponge pudding) that contains raisins - hence the spots. In the days of unhealthy school dinners always got a laugh when it was on the menu!

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  12. OMG you two are sooo funny! I have to say I was actually at another site this morning and over to the left was the link to your blog with the title and I nearly choked on my breakfast!! Thanks for the laugh, I really needed it....and btw I think that would be a hilarious gag gift for Christmas ;) You two have a wonderful day!!

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  13. Okay, I have a question. So, the "spotted" refers to raisins. That makes sense. But, well, why did they pick "dick" for the other part of the name? Is "dick" some kind of British slang for "sponge pudding"??? If so, then I think the Brits have the best sense of humor (or humour).

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  14. LOL, you guys are the best!

    I have never had 'spotted dick' jeez, but I have heard of it. Pudding i na can, not my cuppa.

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  15. The word "dick" has appeared in any number of strange places. Around the 1840s, "dick" was used to mean a type of hard cheese; when treacle sauce was added, it became "treacle dick", and finally when currants or raisins were added (looking like little spots), the "spotted dick" was born.

    The earliest recipes for spotted dick are from 1847. For non-British readers, "spotted dick" is a boiled suet pudding, with bits of dried fruit (usually raisins or currants) that (as already noted) look like little spots.

    The Oxford Companion to Food comments that, strictly speaking, "spotted dick" is made by taking a flat sheet, spreading sugar and raisins on it, then rolling it up. A similar dessert is "spotted dog," a plain cylinder of suet paste with the raisins and currants and sugar stuck into it, so that the spots are visible on the outside. Both spotted dick and spotted dog were traditionally boiled (or even steamed) in a cloth, but nowadays they are usually baked.

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  16. What the heck was really in that can? You have to open it and take a picture.

    I would have bought it too Matt...lol

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  17. WOW, Ivan!!! Thanks for that explanation. I'm going to make sure Baker Boy Brad sees this.

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  18. Thanks for the post Matt! It really cracked me up. Okay now I'm gonna have to see if I can find it around here somewhere. What a great gag gift!!

    (Asks nicely....) Can I go grocery shopping with you? Cause you seem to make it really fun!! LOL.

    *hugs*

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  19. That's got to be one of the strangest things I've ever heard of. My hubby would be laughing all th e way home, and would probably take it to work to show the guys.("Hey, you want to see my spotted dick? Join me in the men's room!") LOL

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  20. Matt: You capture the excitement and innocence of the moment discovering "dick" at the grocery store. It was a funny read. You two are too cute together. So what are you planning giving each other for christmas?

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  21. This was funny can't stop laughing and it's made my day...Wait! Wonder if I can find it in my local food markets!


    Although Brad has a point about it LOL!

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  22. @Susan, I'm kinda afraid to open the can, to be honest. I mean, "dick in can"? ~shudders~ What if it's alive? Then what happens? --- Okay, don't answer that! ;)

    @Amanda, yeah, I'd love some company shopping. Especially if you have a sense of homor! We could be "grocery detectives!" I think "dick" is also an old word for undercover agent anyway. We could be "Grocery Dicks!"

    @Barb, I think me and your hubby would be great pals. ;)

    @Jerry, oh, I don't know. Maybe before we open presents we can have a little "snack." Oh, maybe a ittle serving of "dick" with our coffee!! LOL.

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  23. I can just see and hear you now, running through the store!!!! I can't stop laughing and I have to go take a shower. Might drown myself because I'm laughing. Damn, never a dull moment with you!!!

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  24. That's too funny!! Great post.

    I have to say that I've interviewed hundreds of young gay bloggers over the years, and I love each and every one of their blogs for different reasons, but you guys are so professional. The dialogue alone you wrote is near perfect. Congrats!!

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  25. @Mary, OMG don't drown in the shower! Sit down with a nice relaxing serving of "dick" first.

    Okay, Brad's telling me I'm running this in the ground! Still.... as Jerry says, how often do you find dick in the grocery store, huh? LOL

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  26. @ryan, thanks! I was maybe a louder in the store and laughing harder than comes across. The checkout cashier sorta glanced at the can before she scanned it and I asked her if she knew what it was. I was trying to get her to at least smile. She was this older lady and she just said, "No, sir" I didn't want to embarrass her so I dropped it.

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  27. Bwahahahaha *laughing tears*
    Amazing! I have to keep that one in mind, maybe I can buy it somewhere over here? :D
    I had a busy day and I needed that laugh.
    Love it and I'd have bought it too if I'd have seen it somewhere over here.
    You two are awesome *hugs*

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  28. "I don't pay for my dick." LMAO I definitely needed a boost today. Thanks guys!

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  29. LOL OMFG You made me laugh so hard!!! That was the funniest conversation I ever read! :D

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  30. @Kerstin, maybe we can open a distribution business and ship this stuff to the world! LOL. At least it might bring some much needed humor to the world. ;)

    @E.B., glad this could make you smile!

    @Kat, your comment got me laughing. LOL.

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  31. That is funny stuff right there. LOL!!!

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  32. @BeCullen.... Yeah, never thought of the grocery store as Comedy Central. ;)

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  33. It's quite tasty! And I can only imagine Matty excited about Dick in a supermarket. That would have been brilliant to watch. Love you, Matty! Don't ever lose your enthusiasm for the little things in life!!

    *HUGS*

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  34. ROFLMFAO!! I'm with Bradley, no way would I be eating that! I bet it's gross.

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  35. @Becky, you said it's quite tasty. So, um, you've actually had dick in a can? ;)

    I'm going to buy some more cans for Christmas gag gifts, but I'm still a little frightened to open the can we have. Know what I mean? ;) Jeez, what will they think of next??

    @Shell, LOL! Yeah, I mean, what do you think of when you picture someone eating dick from a can!!!!

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  36. @Matty you should try it, you might like it! It's just a kind of custard and some dried fruit, which admittedly, it's sometimes better to pick around. Come on, you have to open at least one can!! Brits love it! LOL

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  37. Matt: Can you please sample your spotted dick and tell us how it tastes. Is it sweet? Or "meat" flavored? ;-) Is it better with some "cream"? OK, I'll stop the sexual innuendos.

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  38. Okay, Becky & Jerry. I'll open the can very carefully and peek inside and then decide whether to eat the dick or not. @Jerry, that's hilarious about adding some, uh, "cream"!!

    Maybe I'll write a food review at some point! LOL

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  39. You captured your excitement so well with that post, Matt. I loved it.

    Oh, and I sent you guys an email with a shopping suggestion. =)

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  40. I showed this to my dad last night and he laughed his butt off. He is such a comedian and I am so thankful to have such a good man for my father.

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  41. Matt: This canned dick thread just won't die. I don't know how much you paid for your can of dick, but I just checked and it's available in quantity on Amazon.com -- since you were thinking about giving a few as gag gifts, it might be cheaper to order online. You can tell people "I like the taste of spotted dick so much, I wanted to share some with you." Hahaha!

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  42. lol sooooooooooo cute!!!!!!!!!!:D

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  43. Lol! That's so funny. Something straight out of a novel. Love your characters ^.^

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  44. tell us what grocery store you shop at that sells this english treat?
    ryan

    http://aguyinlove.blogspot.com/

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  45. Hey Ryan. We found it at "Shop & Shop." It's about $5.50 a can, so I can't buy that many as gag gifts! LOL

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  46. I can't stop smiling. I actually read this in a restaurant and burst into laughter, I think I scared the table next to us. Day two of my internet friends making my day! Thanks for all the giggles, Matt and Brad!

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  47. I can't quit laughing! I would have loved to see you guys in the store. :)

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  48. What I would have given to to you Matty, running around with you Spotted Dick ... ROFLMAO. .. just imagining it! Need a video of you opening your can & eating Dick .... LOL! This is just too hysterical!

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  49. Spotted Dick is good stuff! Had it in England. Yummy.

    Peace<3
    Jay

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