Both of us have a bunch of time available so we're going to see some of the local sites around here. We both decided not to schedule a specific itinerary, so we're waking up each morning and brainstorming what we want to do.
My Brad suggested we do this, and after working through my guilt about talking time off from work, I realized I've been feeling a lot of stress lately and really just need to relax.
It's really surprised me how I've dealt with Tony getting married. I'm honestly overjoyed beyond belief. I've been on such a joyful high over the past couple weeks, but there's also been this underlying sense of -- hard to even know the right word -- sadness or something like melancholy. Like I've lost something.
Tony is the first of us to get married. But on some kind of probably irrational level, I've also been feeling some sad. It's been hard for me to process why there's something sad going on with me.
On some emotional (and very irrational) level, there's this feeling I'm losing him. Maybe because change of this type is very hard for me to process and adjust to. Maybe it's the ADHD. Maybe it's just the way my brain works.
I already know my process in figuring things out takes time. It use to be so incredibly frustrating to me, but lately I've been trying to cut myself some slack and just let my process work it's way through.
Maybe all this is my brain trying to adjust to the reality that life is moving on. And maybe my emotions are just trying to catch up. Which I guess is a good thing.
In the meantime, I'm not going to obsess about it. In the past, I would have tortured myself until I figured things out. But now, I'm really looking forward to taking the week off... enjoying my time on some day trips with Brad... and giving my process time to work things out.
And that, for me, is a victory❤️